You thought this was about you, yeah? If not, what about the person at the grocery store that gave you the weird look–did you think that had to do with you? Or when your boss snapped at you at work earlier this morning? Or when the person walking down the street didn’t smile at your peachy little face? Did you take all of those events personally? As in—their actions are in total direct relation with something you did or how they feel about you.

I know I’ve been there and often find myself still there when I’m PMSing and wonder why the entire world doesn’t love me as much as I need them to, but THAT my friends, is a convo for another day.

Their actions, their vibes, their responses are in total correlation with themselves, not you. Maybe subconsciously you feel a certain way about yourself so when someone reacts or responds in a manner that relates to how you’re secretly feeling you freak out a bit. It almost feels like your insecurities are plastered to your forehead and they’re using them to manipulate you and take control of your mind–freaking weird shit right? Except, that’s not the case–they’re only speaking, acting, responding based on their belief system and or a reality to which only they know. When we learn to peel off our layer of sensitive skin, we become free. Why? In the words from the chapter in the Four Agreements–Don’t Take Anything Personally–“if you accept their poison, you become the poison.” The only way their behavior has control over you is if you let them.

When I first read the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and Janet Mills, that chapter rocked my world. I noticed that I took everything to heart, literally everything. The way someone looked at me, what someone said, what they didn’t say, how they said it. It was exhausting honestly. Now, I use this frame of reference daily. Anytime I encounter attitude, rudeness, a mean hearted joke, my first thought? Don’t take it personally. Why? Because it’s not about me and nor is it about you!!! Not taking things personally has saved me so much emotional energy, especially when someone apologizes or explains their behavior shortly after! Like damn, glad I didn’t waste seconds of my life concerned something that had absolutely nothing to do with me!! Bottom line, I can’t and nor can you, control how other people act, so let it go. Yup, let it go. Don’t be a sponge –their limiting thoughts, beliefs, anger, jealously are not a good look on you.

Yes, even the ones that really sting. The comments or the looks that make you doubt yourself, make you wonder if what you’re doing is right, even those. We all have our own perspectives right, so how can we expect everyone to see life from the vantage point that we do? It won’t impact your day, your career, your success, your mood–unless you let it. Learning to shake it off and let people be who they are while realizing it has nothing to do with you will bring you more peace than dunking your head in a pot of holy water.

Heard it here first.

Till next time, friends!

-Lauren