Happiness is a choice. You’ve heard that like what, 900 times since this past Sunday? Unfortunately, when we hear things so often we tend to roll on autopilot and be like yeah yeah, a choice, got it–next! However, this one deserves a moment of silence and appreciation.
With life pulling us each and every way, with people coming in and out of our lives, with our successes and failures, it can be easy to feel like happiness is completely external. Do I think that outside sources attribute to feeling good vs bad, I mean yeah for sure. I think the issue comes when we attach happiness to one specific event/person/place and feel empty or purposeless when that is no longer available to us. When we’re in pain or feeling sad, it’s easier to stay there versus trying to make a change since that usually requires ten times the work. However, we don’t want to stay unhappy forever do we? This is where the choice aspect comes into play.
First, feel that pain/unhappiness/sadness/emptiness and acknowledge it. With the whole positive vibes movement, I personally want to reiterate that it’s completely okay to feel any which way that you do and to greet it for what it is. After all, we aren’t trying to pretend that it’s not happening right?! Eventually though, it will be up to you to make peace with it and then wave it goodbye.
Next, take a moment to appreciate yourself. With each moment that passes you become that much stronger, realizing that all the power you need is within you. **Hold up wait a minute** Yes I said it, you’ve got the goods. Although external forces are influential in our everyday lives, at the end of the day, no one thing can make you feel any which way. Only you can give that power to someone or something. Realizing that this is your life and you’re not going to tolerate nonsense that no longer adds to it. It’s gonna be easy and every day will feel like a breeze the moment you make the committed decision, right?
Wrong.
You’re a work in progress and this takes time! Sometimes you’ll bounce ahead and then bounce back or feel like you’ve made zero progress whether good or bad. However you feel, know that it is a process and the way we can strengthen our decision maker is by working at it every day. Pick up a self help book and read a page or a chapter or the whole dang thing in one sitting. Listen to a podcast, a motivational video, your favorite song–whatever gets you feeling good, just do it consistently. Day by day it may feel like not much has changed but when you look back it will all be different.
All I can say is that I’ve been there–I’ve been heartbroken, homesick, anxious etc. and before I worked on myself I lived in a perpetual state of not feeling good until that external circumstance changed. Change didn’t happen over night–the decision to change happened in an instant and the quality of my state depended, and still does, on my daily actions and or decisions. You are worthy of happiness and you are capable of achieving it. It won’t always be easy, but I think it’s fair to say that I will be worth it. Take it a day at a time and appreciate the journey. After all, what’s the point of the destination if we can’t enjoy the ride along the way.
Till next time friends,
Lauren